Not only spiritually did I feel the effects of alcohol, but physically as well. I wasn't as energetic as I once was. I didn't sleep well anymore. I'd wake up in the morning exhausted and cloudy headed. I had days where I was hungover and depressed, wondering how I got to this place. In short, I had come to the conclusion that alcohol once again had too big of a place in my life and I decided it was time to say goodbye forever. I wanted to feel truly alive again... to have life and have it more abundantly.
I didn't want to just function day to day yet being caught in the cycle of alcohol having too much control over me. That was no longer good enough. I knew there was more. I wanted to serve God with all joy and integrity. There was so much more I wanted to do and have in this life that God has given us and I didn't want to waste one second more of giving alcohol control of my life.
As the Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 7:15,
Brothers, the very definition of addiction is continuing to do something you know is bad for you but you can't help doing it anyway.